it can be done. it has been done. it is being done… married for a lifetime.
on june 17, 1944 my grandparents said i do, and i have the black and white photos to prove it. but more importantly i also have something to strive for… the holding of wrinkled hands at the park, in the grocery store and at church. watching them flirt at the dinner table, exchanging kisses on the couch and even talking about “inappropriate” topics at restaurants that made the rest of my family blush…
i have the stories of my Busia (Polish grandma) about their courtship with my Papa, the early years of their marriage, the middle years, and i even got to witness some real examples in the later years when i spent nearly every day with them after school as a kid.
once i asked my Busia for her marriage advice… this is some of what she told me.
“never stop holding hands… talk it out. but listen more than you talk. and sometimes you just need to let it go and not say anything. some things aren’t worth a fight…”
and quite possible my favorite advice ever from my nearly 90 year old grandmother who gave me donuts and milk after school, would sew special clothes so i could play dress up, taught my how to play cards and cook her famous poundcake… she told me this…
“make sweet sweet love! and even when you get old and your body can’t do “everything” (wink wink) any more there is always something you can do. don’t stop doing that.”
so i think part of the secret is “don’t stop doing that.” The things you did when you were dating, the kindness you learned along the way, the little things, the big things, the in between things and the “everything”